Been a while since I’ve written, I've been depressed and stressed recently and it caused me to lose motivation to write. Tonight I decided to pull my shit together and write about something, anything. So here we go, a summary of my last five months.
Right out of the hospital I was dealing with a blood infection that required a two week course of antibiotics, and the antibiotics caused havoc in me. Tore up my stomach and caused diarrhea, on top of getting used to tracheostomy this period was so difficult for mom and I. Some days I didn’t get out of bed and just kept myself sedated. I asked myself every day, what in the hell did I get myself into? Needless to say, I went into a very dark place. A place I never have been and never want to go back to.
In June we went to Dodgers stadium for Lou Gehrig day with my mom, her first time ever. I was so happy for her. The next day we went to angel stadium and was honored to be a part of this special day for all people living with ALS.
In July we went to the movies a few times, and I was finally getting used to my new normal of life with a trache. My birthday was in August and what a special week that was. I had been scared to eat or drink anything since surgery, and I figured why not try on my 40th. Pasta, meat sauce, salad and wine. I was elated to taste again :). My friends and family threw a kickass surprise 40th for me, what a special day that was.
Lately I have been very involved in fantasy sports, watching and researching all the statistics. I find that if you don’t keep your mind constantly busy, you will think about ALS and that can lead to bad thoughts. I also started meditation daily, it helps calm the mind. I can honestly say I am very happy with my life right now, and am glad I decided to have tracheostomy surgery. My body barely functions anymore and it’s getting scary thinking of the future, but I have an awesome care team so I don’t worry about it too much.
My favorite meal is chopped cucumbers, tomatoes, croutons and Italian dressing. Weird right? Not to this guy, smiling from ear to ear! Life is beautiful. I will get back to writing again, I enjoy jotting my thoughts :).